Dear son,
Time has flown (even though sometimes it felt like it was stuck). I will treasure this past 1/2 year (and all the time to come) my whole life, till the moment I no longer exist. It has been the most wonderful time of my life, from your first breathe to now, and I hope for many many years to come of memories and great moments. I hope you learn, grow and become a healthy, smart handsome smiling charming adult. I hope that all your dreams, wishes and ambitions become a reality. I pray I will remember as much as possible and the memories do not just get lost. I love you beyond what I can describe, I never knew I could love someone THIS much! I am rambling because my mind is racing with things I want to say, so I will wind this down already. I hope you love how we decorated your room for this little birthday of yours and that you feel comfortable and happy in it.
Love, Mom (Dad joins in all of these wishes!!!)
Your Birth Story
August 16th was the first full day your grandmother was here in Canada. We had a great morning and your dad came home early from work. In the afternoon I exclaimed I'm going to give birth today or tomorrow at the latest. My mother in law did not believe me. In the evening I had not had any contractions. We went for our daily walk and I literally skipped around. I had so much energy (I had spent the last 3-4 days cleaning non-stop like crazy for your grandmothers arrival and cooking for the big dinner after she arrived). My husband and mother in law said there is no way I was going into labour any time soon. I would give birth in a few weeks. Plus I had only had 1-2 braxton hicks all day, no water breaking, NOTHING. So I went to bed around 12 after a few painless braxton hicks that were VERY far apart.
August 17th. I wake up at 1:40, I am having a first real contraction. I run to the restroom where I have 2 more. I compared them to the predromal labour I had on Saturday and thought "they are about the same or slightly stronger". The different was they were closer together. A day and a half ago my doctor had yelled at me when he heard that I had not gone to the hospital after several hours of contractions about 7-12 minutes apart. He had said "you are a good stretchy 4cm so you need to go to the hospital fast whenever you get contractions". I had protested and said I heard you go when they are about 2-4 minutes apart. He said "you are way to dilated to wait that long." I started going back to our bedroom and I had another contraction. There was no doubt they were contractions but they were really not too bad, nothing I would need pain meds to manage! At this point I paced back and forth and decided it was time to go in. I woke M up and said I'm having pretty frequent contractions though I have not timed them. We need to go in. To myself I then thought, "watch them stop while we are driving." M got dressed and I grabbed some last minute items, then paced the halls. M woke his mom, gave her my cell and said we were going in. She was disoriented and jet lagged and didn't understand what happened.
M helped me outside and a contraction hit and I squatted down at which time M got angry I wasn't getting in the car. He kept telling me to get in until I yelled at him give me a minute and I couldn't yet. I had more contractions during the 10 minute car ride to the hospital. After one I said "If this isn't labour then I don't know what is." I kept fearing I would not be able to tell labour apart from braxton hicks which I had not really had during my pregnancy. But I began to really believe I was in labour.
M parked the car and we walked down the stairs out of the car park and into the emergency doors at the hospital. We were quickly given directions to L&D. I smiled and said thank you but had not been able to concentrate enough to understand how to get there. Thankfully M was with me. I was asked if I wanted a wheelchair and I said no thank you and that I would walk. We got to triage and I was sent for monitoring (I was still walking and would walk by myself to my room as well).
At triage I was given a gown and hooked up to a monitor The monitoring only lasted one contraction because I ewas checked and found to be 7 cm. We were quickly taken to our labour suite where a nurse came in right away (this nurse never left my room ever, not even for a second!). I was placed on a monitor and I remember thinking the contractions aren`t bad they are very manageable! I gave my birth plan to the nurse (much of it was not followed - by me, by staff etc.). She did not push an epidural on me and coached me through contractions naturally. I was checked later and still 7 cm, waters unbroken. During this time the contractions got worse longer and stronger with back pain starting and ending each contraction. The nurse told me the baby was posterior and that's why 2-2 1/2 hours after arrival I was still 7-7 1/2 cm. I could hardly manage through the contractions anymore and my uterus felt like it was choking me to death during each contraction. Also the back pain was unbelievable. Also there must have been some decels because I was given an oxygen mask.
I finally decided I can't do it anymore and asked for an epidural. Even as I asked I wanted to kick myself for it. The nurse had asked if I want to walk and move around like I asked in my birth plan but I felt like I couldn't get up and I was so nauseated (I was stuck in transition). As I waited I even wished for a c-section. Finally the anesthesiologist came in. He made M sit further away, I had an IV put in and my blood tested. I was turned on my left side and told to do what I can so that I do not move during the contractions. (I never finished reading the thing they gave me to sign about the epidural - its impossible to read and understand when you are in transition!!!). My back was sterilized and right before the epidural was placed a woman was wheeled screaming bloody murder by the hallway. The nurse and anesthesiologist looked at each other and he said "I wont be able to help her - its too late" to which the nurse answered "Yep, she's ready to go". At this moment I felt relief I was getting an epidural. The epidural did not hurt to get done and soon it began to help, but on one side until I was turned to the other. The nurse said the epidural was a good idea it may help me progress and it would give my son more oxygen. The doctor came in and broke my water (it had meconium) as she had said she would and soon after I felt pressure. I was checked and was 9-9 1/2. Then checked again soon after and only has a cervical lip. I was given 30 minutes before I would be checked again but the pressure was so bad so I was checked again in about 15-20 minutes and was complete.
The nurse asked if I was ready to push. I said NO. She asked why, I answered I was scared. In a minute or 2 she asked again and I again said no but she said I had to push so a contraction or 2 later I began. The doctor came in after a bit and said I would need an episiotomy (even though my birth plan had said not to do that unless absolutely necessary, but I was in no fit condition to ask why or if it was necessary). I push. Next thing I know I look down and a nurse is holding a baby and first thing I think is where did THAT baby come from? Then I realized I pushed my son out! This was about 6 hours after the first contraction including 1 hour of pushing. I felt him moving down the birth canal but didn't seem to feel the moment he slipped out even though my epidural was on a minimum and I felt everything else. He was taken to a table to be suctioned and then he gave out a cry. I kept asking if he was okay and waiting impatiently to hold him. Then I held him and breastfed for an hour. He was so beautiful, calm and alert! He weighed 3.175 kilo or 7 pounds exactly and was 49.5 cm (19.8 inches). He was perfect and I fell so in love with him. It was easily the happiest moment of my life.
Since then life has been about learning. You learning to do things but also you teaching and M and I learning. It has been the most amazing ride of my life so far.
No comments:
Post a Comment